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Where to begin? For those of you not accustom to how this lovely city works, let me give you a quick run-down on the low-down.

1. DO act like you’re a somebody: Nothing beats a vicious attitude in a sea of surgery: You might not be important NOW, but that is not to say you might be SOMETHING in the future. But only you have to know that, not the whole world!

2. DO dress to impress AT ALL TIMES: I cannot emphasize this enough, always dress like there’s cameras around, who knows there might actually be one snapping your pic, and you NEVER know who you’re going to run into. Whether it be an old friend or an ex that ended on a sour note, you never want to be seen in torn sweats and floppy ugg boots, that phase of LA is over by popular demand.

3. Have an image you’re trying to portray, AND GO FOR IT! : Nothing screams LA more than an image you can call your own. STOP AT NOTHING to make your niche here, in a cluster of clones, nothing beats separating yourself. This will take some time to achieve, but once you do…trademark it, patent it, DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE SURE YOU OWN IT!

4. When in doubt, shop it out : Make sure to hit the trendiest stores since they seem to change every other week and choose ones that you truly bond with, that appeal to your personal style and only buy what will blend into your wardrobe, not what will conflict with your closet. Tips: Wasteland and Crossroads Trading on Melrose (they’re right across from each other)

5. DO hit the club scene: The LA club scene is something you have to learn to appreciate. Think about it like the mafia, once you’re in, you’re in! You’ll begin to notice that the hottest clubs stay hot for a couple of months and then they tend to randomly “close” get “remodeled” and then reopen as a “new” club. Depending on your preference, you’ll learn which ones you love and which ones you hate. Get there late and leave early, makes no sense right? A lot of things in LA don’t, but that’s not the point.

6. DON’T act like Debbie Desperate: Never let them see you sweat, and when I say “them” I mean anyone. Act like your own image Agent/Manager/PR firm and show the Angelenos that attitude is everything. Never beg or ask profusely, but always accept and decline politely.

7. DON’T play in the big leagues if you can’t hang with the heavy hitters. This translates to: Do not roll around with people you personally cannot keep up with and by that I mean do not hang with the big wigs of Los Angeles if you do not have the lifestyle/finances/ or attitude that they have because here they tend to run the city. But if they offer…TAKE IT!

8. DON’T live past your means: Money talks here, I’m sure that obvious since this city was built on the “American Dream”. A wise friend once told me like he was genius: “It takes money to spend money”. True. Debt is NEVER an option because the more you have, the harder it is to survive, and in a city of sink or swim, you’ll be dragged to the bottom in no time. So live wisely. Don’t spend money on clothes, cars, apartments/houses that you simply cannot afford.

9. DON’T talk about money and/or prices: Unless with your absolute personal friends&family. There’s a certain attitude that people have in LA, never talk about money and you’ll look like you have it? Makes Sense? NO. But yet again it’s not suppose too. Never disclose how much your clothes is worth, what your car payment is, how much your mortgage/rent costs. That’s your personal business anyway and by telling random business to strangers is never a good idea, only you have your own back.

10. DON’T trust anyone until you build a long relationship/friendship with them: It’s a dog-eat-dog world out here so trust is absolutely essential. Don’t give it out unless it is deserved. It’s a smart decision to start practicing this immediately before you find out the hard way.

Learn something,

Kevin

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